Crew
Craig Aznoe Craig Aznoe as
Victor Prinzim [aka Dom DeLouise]
  1. Have you ever raced before?
    2. Depends on if you consider matchbox cars on wooden tracks racing…
  2. What is your favorite quote or theme for racing (regarding racing)?
    3. The tortoise may win the race, but the bunny sure had a helluva lot more fun losing!
  3. What is your favorite color?
    4. Orange.  Yeah.  Not too funny, but it’s true!
  4. Can you dance the Macarena?
    5. My dancing is on the track.  I move from side to side as smooth as… Wait.  The Macarena isn’t that cool of a dance.  Then my analogy won’t work.  So… Uh… No.
  5. What is your opinion on clowns?
    6. I hang a picture of Bozo in my rear view mirror.  The fright this image yields motivates me to drive away as fast as I can.
  6. How will you spend your share of the $1500.00 in nickels?
    7. On 150000 pennies to send back to LeMons office in Emeryville. 
  7. What do you do when a vending machine steals your money?
    8. Thank it for saving my waistline from the caloric intake the food inside would give me.  Then slap the $*@% outta it.
  8. What was your first car?
    9. 1976 Ford F-150 flatbed.  6 inline cylinders of POWER!
  9. What’s the stupidest thing you ever did in that car?
    10. Ummm…  Drive respectably in all manners and fashions in accordance with the laws in place?  (C'mon… My parents are gonna read this!)
  10. Where did your first car end up?
    11. Still dutifully hauling around 100 gallons of diesel to fuel-starved tractors and harvesters around the great state of Montana.  Built Ford tough!
Colby Waltenberg Colby Waltenburg as
J.J. McClure [aka Burt Reynolds]
  1. Have you ever raced before?
    2. What the hell does that mean?!!!
  2. What is your favorite quote or theme for racing (regarding racing)?
    3. All that comes to my head is a reporter at a horse race in Mexico who doesn’t see the horse coming from behind while he is addressing the camera and BAM!!!  He gets run over…kinda like that for a theme.
  3. What is your favorite color?
    4. Seriously…what are we two?  Next you’ll be asking me to take a Facebook “what superhero are you most like” survey.  If I had a microphone on right now I would stand up, yank it off and loudly declare this interview over and ridiculous!
  4. Can you dance the Macarena?
    5. Yes and I can also make a phone call on my grandma’s Jitterbug.
  5. What is your opinion on clowns?
    6. I just can’t believe we keep electing them into office.
  6. How will you spend your share of the $1500.00 in nickels?
    7. By going to the beach and throwing them one at a time in front of the guys with the metal detectors.
  7. What do you do when a vending machine steals your money?
    8. A vending machine wouldn’t dare.
  8. What was your first car?
    9. A 1966 Ford Mustang
  9. What’s the stupidest thing you ever did in that car?
    10. Made out with Kristy Ferguson… yuk!!!
  10. Where did your first car end up?
    11. I sold it to a guy who shipped them to Australia for $1,600.  Who’s laughing now wallabies?
Darren Rogers Darren Rogers as
Seymour Goldfarb, Jr. [aka Roger Moore]
  1. Have you ever raced before?
    2. Is it really “racing” if you always win?
  2. What is your favorite quote or theme for racing (regarding racing)?
    3. Do or do not, there is no try.
  3. What is your favorite color?
    4. They all look good on me.
  4. Can you dance the Macarena?
    5. Not only can I dance it, but I make it look GOOOOD!!
  5. What is your opinion on clowns?
    6. Drunk old men entertaining 7 year olds;  How many ways can that end well?
  6. How will you spend your share of the $1500.00 in nickels?
    7. Money?  I drive to do the team a favor, not to win a few bucks.
  7. What do you do when a vending machine steals your money?
    8. None have yet dared to do so.
  8. What was your first car?
    9. 1987 Nissan pulsar SE
  9. What’s the stupidest thing you ever did in that car?
    10. Whaa?  Stupid?  C'mon, gimme a break.
  10. Where did your first car end up?
    11. I believe it is currently in the Los Angeles Museum of Awesome.  It moves around so as many people as possible have an opportunity to gaze upon it.  
Branton Jahner Branton Jahner as
Jamie Blake [aka Dean Martin]
  1. Have you ever raced before?
    2. Really, raced?  i guess so i beat that Honda on my bicycle once.
  2. What is your favorite quote or theme for racing (regarding racing)?
    3. I’m on fire! I’m on fire!
  3. What is your favorite color?
    4. O man,  like skittles so any of those colors work!
  4. Can you dance the Macarena?
    5. The only dance I know is the victory dance, does that count?
  5. What is your opinion on clowns?
    6. They still haunt my dreams, I hate the one under my bed!
  6. How will you spend your share of the $1500.00 in nickels?
    7. Nickels? Hmm, how many nickels is that? I might learn to count money  guess!
  7. What do you do when a vending machine steals your money?
    8. I steal it back! Mua ha ha ha!
  8. What was your first car?
    9. Well it was a 1986 Chevy Sprint with 8 12'S in the back, and  I had to push it up hills! lol
  9. What’s the stupidest thing you ever did in that car?
    10. Ran nitrous on it! Lol! It was a lot of fun, but no one would race me! Come on it was a 3 cylinder!
  10. Where did your first car end up?
    11. My older brother still drives it to work, and I sold it to him for more than I paid for it! He he…
Sam Huckaby Sam Huckaby as
Morris Fenderbaum [aka Sammy Davis Jr.]
  1. Have you ever raced before?
    2. Damn sexily.
  2. What is your favorite quote or theme for racing (regarding racing)?
    3. Way too damn sexy.
  3. What is your favorite color?
    4. Pretty damn sexy.
  4. Can you dance the Macarena?
    5. So damn sexy.
  5. What is your opinion on clowns?
    6. Damned sexy.
  6. How will you spend your share of the $1500.00 in nickels?
    7. For damn sexy.
  7. What do you do when a vending machine steals your money?
    8. Act damn sexy.
  8. What was your first car?
    9. All that and still damn sexy.
  9. What’s the stupidest thing you ever did in that car?
    10. Really damn sexy.
  10. Where did your first car end up?
    11. Not so damn sexy.
Tim Boyd Tim Boyd as
The Shiek [aka Jamie Farr]
  1. Have you ever raced before?
    2. Yes, I have dominated every Pine Box Derby I’ve entered.
  2. What is your favorite race related quote?
    3. “If you’re not breaking stuff, you’re not having enough fun.”
  3. What is your favorite color?
    4. A black and white checkered pattern waiving in my face.
  4. Can you dance the Macarena?
    5. Poorly
  5. What is your opinion on clowns?
    6. Freaky
  6. How will you spend your share of the $1500.00 in nickels?
    7. World peace
  7. What do you do when a vending machine steals your money?
    8. Kick it and shout “GIVE ME MY DORITOS!”
  8. What was your first car?
    9. A 1997 Ford Contour
  9. What’s the stupidest thing you ever did in that car?
    10. Spun out trying to impress a girl while racing a Z28 Camero in the rain…didn’t work.
  10. Where did your first car end up?
    11. Junkyard, it was totaled when an unlicensed driver pulled in front of me.